Unanswered Prayers

Recently during my hospital stays, I had plenty of time to think. I recall a song by Garth Brooks that came out while I was in high school. (Don't bother counting the years, I'm old. :)) It's entitled "Unanswered Prayers."

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
In her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers


Now I don't have an old high school flame, but I have prayed numerous times this past year.
One of the prayers I repeated often, was to die. Now this may sound awful to many of you, but many times over the past year, I didn't think I could go on. More so I didn't want to. I was ready to be done and have some peace in the after life. I had fought a good fight and done my best. Now obviously I was torn, I didn't really want to leave my daughter and husband, but at the same time I was out of strength. I am grateful that my prayers were not answered in the way I asked.

During this past year I never thought why me? Although I often wondered how come I was so weak that my body couldn't handle such normal process. I wanted to be stronger and be able to be a mother and wife. I had to come to grips that I couldn't. I had to realize that I was "special" as my dear husband kept reminding me.

Now months later, as all this is coming to an end and we have a new addition to our lives, I am grateful for the many unanswered prayers. Or mejor dicho, prayers that were answered in a different way.

I don't write this to make you feel sorry for me or give me sympathy, rather to give you an insight into my life. There have been many times in life, that I wondered what God's plan is for me. This is just one example of how my wants and desires didn't quite work into what God had planned for me and my family. For that I am grateful.

Although my body isn't a baby making machine, I'm grateful for the two children I was able to bear and the joy they bring and have brought into my life.

I'm grateful for a husband who took such good care of me and Batgirl during this past year and continues to support and take care of our family. He continues to amaze me.

I'm also grateful to all my friends and family for all their support during this past year. I'm grateful to be alive.

Hyperemesis Gravidarium